My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
