Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
