4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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