3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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