I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
