porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I party with great urgency now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
