Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
