There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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