Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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