Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
