You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
