my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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