A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
