You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
