i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
