Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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