i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They have beer where we have blood.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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