Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
