Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize