you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
