i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
