Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
