Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
