dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
