dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
