just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
