Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
COCAINE IS GR8
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