I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize