Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
