She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
