I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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