There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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