i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
