You just made me feel so damn special
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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