This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
