when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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