Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have post one night stand depression
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
