I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
