actually, I'm a sock model
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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