Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
