Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think I just sharted jello shots
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
