So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
