Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
