big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
false alarm, still single
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