the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
