im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
