Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
