some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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