Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
