I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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