I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
and she was petting her beer can
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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