Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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