dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
