I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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