i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
